Why Gender Equality Is Not Respected In India?

For starters, in Indian humankind, your independent freedom and decision are considered as a taboo. Especially when it comes to women. Here I’m going to concatenate why it is hard from the perspective of a South Indian woman.

Our society has been structured and mannered in a way that:

For a man, his milestone is his career.

But for a woman, her ultimate milestone is marriage and birthing a baby only.

Yep! You read it right. Honestly, Marriage and pregnancy are part of life. I’m not quoting marrying and getting pregnant is wrong. In India, this is scrutinized to be women’s biggest achievement. But at the same time, mankind fails to process that it is her vagina and her decision. Dude, No Vagina, No Opinion. So back off! And a women’s decision is None.Of.Your.Damn.Business. But hey this is not America, to freely choose your own body. Women are human beings, they also have goals. But the confraternity doesn’t respect women’s goals, they want her to shut-up and cook food and do all the household chores. Her career is never acknowledged. In most of my seen cases, the candor is that men cannot take care of themselves. Men want to be treated like a baby. And they readily fancy this responsibility to either their mother or wife. Mostly this is dumped to the wife. I’m quoting that, not all the men will possess this mindset. But even the educated men are brought up in this conservative way. The rationality behind is, human beings of South India come from a traditional family and stick to religious beliefs. Most importantly they abhor science.

Photo on Unsplash by Alex Iby

On the other hand, women’s sole purpose is obliged to honor her vagina only. Women have been projected as a slave to her husband. Did you know the majority of the rape cases in India are sexually and physically assaulted by their very own husband? Both you and I don’t know this, because this isn’t uttered outside. Because we are beaten up and turned to be scary wolves wrapped in the house. This is not made sensational or worthy news even to be heard by your ears. Because her husband only did it, so what’s the problem with that. So once again women are set as an object in front of you.

Do you think parenting failed our society for men?

I wish people feared their sons being pedophiles, rapists, or being abusive as much as they fear to be gay.

It is 2020 and we are all in the middle of a hectic pandemic. We are all here locked up in our houses with our brothers and sisters, mother and father. Most of the people coming from a privileged firm has been given the famous work from home option. So both men and women are entangled in this circumstance. Even in this lockdown period, men still fail to help their mother/wife/sisters with household chores.

I can carve you up from one of my friend’s trial at home. I swear I’m not spreading hate. She has a brother and since day one my friend says she haven’t seen him wash his very own plate nor he does that. She always questions, “why can’t we share our household chores partly? Or at least you can do small-small things in alternative days?” Ever since this question was sparked, her brother doesn’t even speak to her.She feels sorry for her mother the most. Obviously all of our mothers are the most hardworking person at home. Anyways she can’t even help herself observing her mother doing everything from top to bottom. Well, you do know as a woman how hard it is really to manage both your household work and the office work. I’m not bragging, she confides that she does how much ever household work she can every time she takes a break. On the other hand, all her brother does is, wakes up, eats his food, does his office work and passes all the judgemental comments. Of course, he does boss around her, too. She ain’t whining here exactly. Well, don’t you even feel guilty looking at your mother doing all the household work from A to Z?

One thing I learned from this quarantine is judgemental men can never give you peace of mind. Your mental health just shatters. But how do you fight it when this begins at home?

Initially, my friend was pretty mad, and she pleads to her mother to suggest to brother that he could help us. You will not believe that even her mother severely opposed to this. Every day an argument will arise regarding this, and yes her mother herself allows her brother to rest. Meaning she doesn’t even allow him to touch the household chores in the first place. One word and it is ‘Pampered’. Beyond pampered it is pettiness. Well, gender equality is not welcomed in her entire household. Maybe that’s how men begin to fail to respect women’s decisions and turn judgemental all around.

Photo on Unsplash by Brooke Cagle

Or for instance, you turn up to your relative’s house as a guest. Yes! You’re welcomed and made to sit on the couch. But within minutes you’re intended to go the kitchen of your relative’s house and help with the coffee. And the men of the very same household does nothing and encourage you to go join there. Why? Because you are a woman. To be precise the term is Indian Women.

So we can wind up that men are brought up in a such way that they’re made to believe women belong to the kitchen only. But question them or ask them to help with your chores, that’s it, the end of it. A raging quarrel occurs that ‘None asked you to go to office and work when you know how household work is challenging’. Isn’t men’s life is so good, that they just go to work, come back and ahh dinner is ready over the plate. Then you go back to sleep and yayy your day is over. Wow, how privileged men are.

My question is when women support men’s careers with household chores why can’t men also support women’s careers with household chores? Oh, wait, our nation is consequently against women questioning men, that they’re often slammed in the worst possible way.

But, that’s how marriage works, acclaiming one’s decision, and standing up for each other. And most primarily, correcting when one of them is wrong. But this statement doesn’t conclude that a woman having a career itself is wrong and her destination is a housewife.

All women at some point in their lives have obviously worried about their careers and thought about quitting and sit as a housewife. Umm, I’m one among them, but at the same time, I’m not afraid to deny it. And the biggest mistake was, I confronted this to my parents long back and to date, I regret this. You and I know it’s never too late to fix things like this. But hey, typical Indian parents expect you to get married and sit in the household and bake shit for your husband for the rest of your life. Every time I explain it to my parents how important a girl’s career is and my career is, duh, my mom raises her voice. And you can imagine how the following incidents turn out to be.

All we are asking is to show some respect and gratitude, rather than judging.

To respect her decisions, thoughts, and actions, and most predominantly her career. Life for women doesn’t end at 25 and humankind needs to stop acting as it does.

When women respect men’s decisions, why can’t men do the same? Why do men consider women to be stupid and throw out as ‘must lay at home’? Oh no, it’s because women have a vagina and it should be honored and protected at all costs. But raping is okay. It’s women’s fault if she is raped and men’s actions not even blamed at the slightest. BAM! That’s why you’re not supposed to have a career.

Quoting it again, I wish people feared their sons being pedophiles, rapists, or being abusive as much as they fear to be gay.

COOKING AND CLEANING IS A BASIC LIFE SKILL NOT A GENDER ROLE

No matter how much ever you feel good and sorry and be grateful to your parents for bringing you up in the best possible way…in the end, they just manipulate their way towards you. In Indian terms, manipulation is you need to close your eyes and marry the guy whomsoever they chose for you and shut up your career.

Dear Brothers!

If you DON’T want your wife to work then choose someone who DOES’NT WANT to work. Stop marrying girls with career ambitions and forcing them to sit home hoping for them to change one day. They worked really hard for it. Don’t shatter their dreams.

*Silently hopes my future husband would understand this*

Somehow I gutted down and presented my thoughts without any doubts.

Thank you for reading! Each of your thoughts and views varies deeply from one another.

P.S. Having your own money as a female is so important.

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