The Vision of a Millennial Women
The world is changing and yet there is patriarchy hanging around
Believe it or not! Millennials are the people who are cladding towards their colossal hardship in Quarantine. Because either they’re in the graduating phase with all the opening jobs shutdown or graduating with debts and no jobs or just projecting for their higher education. Moreover, given the framework of the pandemic seems like there will never be a full-stop to this.
How do I quote this? Well, all the countries around the globe had undergone at least two waves of the Covid-19 virus and the result seemed to be a holocaust. And for women in their mid 20’s, it is even more vigorous. For a South Indian career-oriented woman, she is dragged down entirely by society, stating she cannot accomplish anything as she has reached her wedding age (set by humankind, of course) and has to give up her dreams and goals just like that.
But if you clasp this same scenario for a man, he is welcomed by everyone and praised. Here I’m going to concatenate why it is hard from the perspective of a South Indian woman.
Our society has been structured and mannered in a way that:
For a man, his milestone is his career.
But for a woman, her ultimate milestone is marriage and birthing a baby only.
The Perception to Defeat Patriarchy
This is easier said than getting it done. But completely hard to demolish it. Trust me I have tried this so many times at home, but I’m labeled as a Nincompoop. I often think that maybe if a woman earned more than men it would be at ease. But no, the condition becomes harder. Men always want women to be at home and take care of household chores because they don’t want to help their wives/sisters as it lies beneath their ego. And also men can’t live without the dependency of their wives, since their wife’s sole purpose is to cook and serve their husband/in-laws. Hence, ladies and gentlemen, women are not allowed to be financially independent.
The more I chewed these over with my sisters/sister-in-laws about the recurring circumstances, the more I understood that this cycle has been running in the household for generations. To be precise, a woman has been made to become a women’s worst enemy. Because she’s the one who socializes within the family and lays down these horrible laws. They are not the laws she has made. They are laws which she has been told to enforce. Women have been used as watchdogs of patriarchy for centuries. But for some reason, I have noticed the pattern and decided it ends with me.
A recent study from Deloitte reported that as few as 7% of couples worked full-time, equally shared the household chores. And that if household chores were shared (in the instance of heteronormative couples if men contributed more), there would be a 1.5 billion dollar jump in the Indian Economy! It was also communicated that men overestimated the amount of unpaid work they did at home. And even in instances where the workload is close to 50/50, women are often the ones that have to organize or tell their partner what to do. Inclusively mental load and cognitive labor.
Engineering The Goal
Other women who are killing it should motivate you, thrill you, challenge you, and most importantly inspire you. Rather than making you feel like you’re immediately being compared to them.
There is no termination for comparison. This Juxtaposing begins since childhood dumping with an inferiority complex and low self-esteem. But over the years, I have learned to change the channel in my brain, that being mentally healthy of what I think about myself is what matters.
It is pretty hard to touch the list of Forbe’s 100 most powerful women in the world. But I’m really glad that as of today at least two Indian women are featured in the list (i.e) Nirmala Sitharaman aged 61 (India’s first female Chief Financial Officer) and Roshini Nadar Malhotra aged 39(chairperson of HCL technologies, Indian Businesswomen, and first women to lead a listed IT company in India). I wish more women look forward to their 50’s and 60's, proving that age is just a number and life does not end at 30. There is so much to look forward to in life. Also setting an example to all the orthodox women out there, manifesting the fact that marriage is only a part of our lives.
The Hope of Support and Mentorship
I come from a typical orthodox background of a South Indian Family. Even though I come from a traditional family with traditional values I received the best education both in my high school and undergrad. I was able to afford these because my parents were privileged enough to provide me the best of the best education and I have no regrets about that. Indeed I’m grateful for it. Honestly, without my parents, I wouldn’t be the person I am today.
Whether you have been blessed with better education or not once you reach your 20’s it is game over it seems.
And As I mentioned earlier, apparently women in their 20’s now are supposed to marry and give birth to offspring. Or we won’t be able to found a suitable groom for ourselves in two-three years from now. Well, all these norms are set by society and people follow them blindly with fears. But I don’t intend to become one of those kinds of people. Living in fear of patriarchal society.
And I’m totally shattered to learn that this is how the majority of the population is living without any choice.
An Educated man can uplift his family.
Educated women can change the generation.
I grasped about all these things in the Quarantine. All in all, nobody will help, because people are afraid to break the vicious cycle of patriarchy. If and only if men and women together stop using the generation gap and parent’s happiness as an excuse for being sexist.
A girl can only hope